A quick thanks for all my 'choo, choo' bday gifts. I am a very lucky boy. Thanks also for helping support my mummy, daddy and my new little brother Theo by following the blog and sending all your messages. One day I will read all about it and realise why I got so spoiled on my 2nd bday :-) Lots of love Lucas xxxHow lovely it was to open the blog tonight and see how many people had responded and how encouraging to read them all. I am especially pleased to hear the Guiness frenzie is spreading and I will join the 'team' at 11pm tomorrow in cheering my baby on...
Grandma, grandad, Gary and I visited the brave Theo today and he has again held is own by being really settled. They redressed his exomphalos this morning and they all seemed very happy with it. They will eventually let it 'dry out' so to speak but I'm not sure when this will be. His heart rate had reduced further this afternoon and he was very sleepy and content. I didn't even touch him today as often that wakes him and I can see he is trying to communicate and wake up but I want him to get stronger and bigger so it was a day of rest and recovery. The grandparents sat with him and Gary and I popped into the Drop In Centre again. I was getting a complimentary aromatherapy treatment while Gary got a coffee and checked emails etc. It felt really strange doing something nice for myself and the girl decided to go slow and start with a hand and foot massage. She explained that it was important for me to relax and switch off so I could be strong for Theo. The staff encourage you to use this facility as obviously it is important to look after yourself which in turn helps Theo. Unfortunately that is really hard for me to do and when I tried to close my eyes and relax, the thoughts came flooding and so did the tears. It was a very strange experience as I am usually very good at treating myself but it felt wrong and it didn't feel nice to be good to myself. I'm not sure if this makes sense, but like I said yesterday, it is weird what your mind and body does at times like this. Yesterday Gary almost broke my arm (my own stupidity-not abuse!) as I was handing something to Lucas between the car door and Gary didn't notice my arm and shut the car door on it (luckily didn't slam it or I would also be in hospital with Theo!!) The funny thing was it didn't really hurt and I just kept thinking that it didn't come close to the pain that Theo must be feeling. It's almost like I wanted to feel some pain to feel better about the whole thing, perhaps to feel less guilty? So in the end I got my treatment with a box of tissues on my lap and although a stange experience, I think it did help a bit. I dread when it is all over and I eventually begin to relax again as I fear there will be no stopping the floodgates...shares in Kleenex might be a good idea!!
We are spending the evening at home to try and get an early night (yeh right!) and Gary is currently trying to assemble Lucas's new art and craft table. Mummy and Lucas are spending tomorrow being creative and hopefully going to try and make a cardboard train he saw on 'Mister Maker'. We shall see...if it's any good I might post it on the blog...
Hi Nicola, its technophobe Karen(outreach bunch) here. I have tried many times to comment , even set up an account but still failed!!!! I think I need a course !
ReplyDeleteWe(Iain ,Brian etc) read your blog most days and are full of admiration for you and Gary and your wee fighter Theo. You take advantage of those free massages Nic and enjoy the guinness. Our love and best wishes are with you all .
Karenx
Dear Nic
ReplyDeleteSo pleased to hear that little Theo had a good night and is resting - the best medicine for babies. I fully understand how you feel about treating yourself. I remember one of the consultants telling me that we must go out for a meal to treat ourselves and I burst into tears at the thought of leaving our baby in hospital whilst we went out for a slap up meal. Having said that, I think it is important to look after yourself but it is so much easier said than done. A hot bath with Hello magazine (obviously I normally read much more intellectual literature...hmmm)was my relaxation technique of choice - and I could blame the tears on condensation!
Let the tears flow as it will do you good (I got what Fran referred to as a 'blub rash' round my eyes from crying so much!).
Sending love and many many positive vibes
Claire, Fran & Seth
xxx
Hi Nic,
ReplyDeleteLet it all out - it's healthy and natural. I went the oppsoite way and didn't cry at all (I swear this is true!)from the day Anna was diagnosed until at least a year later. I actually had to get some counselling to get my crying ability 'turned back on', but it's still a bit wonky.
You are living on adrenalin at the moment, so it's little wonder that you had the reaction to the treatment that you did. You will feel the benefits long term if you let yourself have some rest. I have spent a lot of time on paediatric wards and seen a lot of mothers in a dreadful state (emotionally and physically), so take all of the chances you can to stop that happening to you. You are doing it so that you can keep going for Theo and for Luca and for Gary and for yourself.
So endeth the sermon ;-)
Janie xxxxxxx
Dear Nic & Gary,
ReplyDeleteI've been reading your blog this week and am so pleased that little Theo is making such good progress. He is a little fighter and looks beautiful in the pictures you have posted. I think you are both doing an amazing 'job' and I'm full of admiration for you both.
Thanks for finding the time for keeping us all updated, and I have to say that both of your writing skills are fantastic!
Lots of love to you all, Fi and Craig xxx
Hi Nic,
ReplyDeleteIt's lovely to hear everything is going a bit better for Theo and that he is so much more comfortable. You have been really brave and you deserve to treat yourself. Hope things continue to get better.
Love Lyndsey
Dear Nicola and Gary,
ReplyDeleteI only heard recently that your little miracle has arrived. I have read your blog today and it has bought tears to my eyes... I think the blog is a very good way of letting your feelings out about everything as you write and also explains what is happening to your family and friends, leaving you more time to deal with this very difficult time.
I still want to say congratulations, he his here.... and you've got him.... and you are giving all the love you possibly can, and the two of are doing extremely well under the huge pressure of it all.
You are in our thoughts and we are praying that your little man pulls through. Something tells me that he will, I'm sure of it. And one day we will meet him tickle that little special tummy of his!
Much love and best wishes
Shelly, Vince and Harry xxxx