31.1.09

Dad back on the Blog tonight.
Today we spent our day at home with Lucas. He has had such a disruption in his care over the last few weeks that we wanted to spend time alone with him. I think he is very wary that we always seem to leave, so feels unsettled even going for afternoon sleeps, as he probably wonders who will be there to wake him up. Although only just two, we know he is aware something is wrong, and he was more upset than normal, but also more cuddly than usual. Lucas and I gave Mum some time this morning, and went for a wee trip to Bo'ness to see his favourite Choo Choo's, Unfortunately it was closed for the season although there were a couple of old diesel trains in operation, and the driver was kind enough to give Lucas a "toot toot" when he drove past. We then went to the toy shop and bought some Thomas engines with some of GG's (Great Granny's) birthday money.

I'm writing the blog in bed tonight with Nic beside me, she is exhausted and almost asleep, so I have full editorial rights this evening. That will also mean even more bad grammar and spelling!
It does however give me a great opportunity to thank Nic for doing everything she could for our Theo, from taking good care of him when inside, to becoming an "expert" in Exomphalos. She certainly gave every medical professional we met some pretty tough interrogation during consultation, and left no stone unturned. Nic has been extremely brave through this journey, and I really cannot put into words how proud I am of her courage and bravery shown throughout. It was extremely difficult to watch her first proper cuddle with Theo, in the knowledge his fight was over, and the first real cuddle (unaided) would only be for some minutes, but I know she found her peace when Theo passed (as did I). I did take a photo at the time and with Nic's permission, I will publish on the Blog. Many of you have been on this journey with us and I would like to share our moment with you also.... They just both looked so beautiful.

We now need to move onto the next step, which means organising Theo's funeral. As I sit here, I have no idea where we find more strength for this. No parent should be in this position. I hate to say it, but sometimes this all really seems so unfair.

Now I WILL ask for your help. Tonight we setup up a fund for the Sick Kids Hospital in Memory of Theo and any donation would be greatly appreciated. Every little bit would help. Theo had 24/7 and 1:1 care for 3 weeks, not to mention the top surgeons and consultants in the country looking after him. We would like to think that this level of care can and will continue for other babies with similar conditions. Just click on the attached link.

http://www.justgiving.com/theowelsh

Thanks again for all the posts, e-mails, txts and messages. If its OK we would much prefer this to sympathy cards (the cost of a card and stamp could go into his fund instead). I dont think we are ready for cards yet as we have only just taken down the congratulations cards, and it's these little things we find difficult. So keep the txt's, posts etc coming as they do help, they really really do...